I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
