He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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