your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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