Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
