found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
In America we eat man semen.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
