First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
