people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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