Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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