Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize