i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
