I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
