This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
