Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
