I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
