CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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