worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
