Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
