I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
