Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
