so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
