yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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