yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
