I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
