I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
