I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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