we're blogging at a bar
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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