please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
