But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
