Quick, to the slutcave!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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