i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
