I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
