and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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