She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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