I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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