You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Randomize
