do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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