I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
