just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Randomize
