The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Soap is not a condiment
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
