soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
