I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
