i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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