Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
