My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
