i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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