I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize