I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
