the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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