he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
