I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My vagina is officially offended.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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