as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
