i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
