He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
