My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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