Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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