so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
