WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
