Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize