Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize