i may or may not be watching the land before time
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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