We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
