Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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