Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
