She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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