we have pet lesbian snakes
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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