Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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