I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize