it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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