I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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