Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
