College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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