Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
