I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
