We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
